Harry Potter IS NOT Lefty* (I hope)

Friday, 9:15 pm: East Coast friends text me gloating that they already have their Harry Potter. But I don't care, I'm planning to wake up Saturday morning to a knock on my door.

Saturday 7 am: Wake up. Look at clock. Realize that it's unreasonable for UPS to bring my book this early. Fall back asleep.

8 am: Give up attempting to sleep. Wash dishes.

9 am: Shower very quickly, hoping not to miss UPS.

10 am: Realize that Amazon was a really stupid choice.

11 am: Carefully, avoiding all news and book sites, open up email. Read warning from best friend not to go anywhere online.

1130 am: Email other friends complaining about lack of Deathly Hallows book.

12 pm: Eat left over Fritatta.

1215 pm: Continue re-reading Half-Blood Prince, sure that UPS will knock any moment.

1 pm: Talk to non-HP fan Emi since I won't want to once HP arrives.

130 pm: Go back to HBP

2 pm: Dan, the friend who's yelled at me to read the last two books faster so we could discuss them, calls. He went to a midnight release, but he's only read the first chapter. It's his reward to himself after he finishes some major paper. Makes me promise not to talk to him about it until he finishes it. Says he'll call me the moment he does. Mocks me for not having my book.

230 pm: Still no UPS, still no book. Contemplate buying another copy, but know that if I leave the house UPS will finally come.

5 pm: One chapter left in Half-Blood Prince. Still without Deathly Hallows. Not quite sure what do do about it. If there is anything I can do. Short of buying another book. Which would still mean leaving. Descending into despondency.

545 pm: Finished last chapter. Made popcorn. Thought to track package. UPS says it left facility for final destination at 2:10 pm. Do not trust them (though, I still trust Snape).

720 pm: Made Jello. Stuck the Netflix movie in. Got the Hiccups. Still no book. Wondering if there's a number I can call...

8 pm: Call UPS. Wait on hold for 10+ minutes. Apparently, they contracted out with USPS and the book should be in my mailbox. Except since I live in an apartment, the box won't fit in my mailbox. And since I didn't check my mail today, I didn't see the notice they gave it to the apt office. And now the office is closed until Monday. I am beyond irritated. Should I have known that UPS was giving my book to USPS? Because I so didn't, and now I think I'm going to return my Amazon order and go buy myself a copy. Because there is NO WAY I'm waiting until 10 am on Monday to get my damn book. Called Dan to vent. He was suitably commiserative.

834 pm: Went to Borders. Got it. Will now crawl into my cave and read.

MONDAY: Turns out the apartment office is now closed on Mondays too, so I would have been waiting until Tuesday to get my Amazon copy. I'm SO glad that I didn't.



*Clifford Odets play: Waiting for Lefty. It's about a labor union wanting to strike and waiting for their elected chairman named Lefty. Who never appears.